“I had an awful nightmare.” Angie heard herself uttering to the man on the phone. She didn’t want to tell him about her endless nightmares. She didn’t even want to remember any of these dreams… nightmares. For the last couple of days, she had managed to toss them away, to throw them under the carpet, to move on with her days as if these dreams never existed… But this morning, the whole thing was different.
She woke up feeling awkward. She had seen her previous employers in dream. The whole thing is fuzzy for her now, but she remembers a few disturbing things. She remembers herself arguing, fighting, screaming, yelling, refusing to repeat certain boring tasks, thinking that her employer should have specified clearly the outcome of that task… Awkwardly enough, in that nightmare, she was wrapping up her work on her last day of work. Awake, she couldn’t understand where all that anger, hate, jealousy, noise came from. She just couldn’t see what was going on in her subconscious mind for things to take these strange turns.
She refused to go any further with any of these thoughts. He tried to inquire about her dreams; she said a few vague words and then moved on to ask him about his morning and his daily routines. He asked her about her plans for the day, and since she didn’t feel like moving from her bed, she hardly thought about anything to do. It was almost 11:20am and she had been thinking and writing immersed in her thoughts about dreams and nightmares for at least 3 hours. She didn’t want to go anywhere. She noticed that whenever she met with some people, her mood would swing; her energy would be so low that she would face problems thinking, dreaming and sleeping. She would go on for days and days after these encounters, hating herself, entertaining weird ugly thoughts, and wishing she could do something about these things. He had advised her many times to take some distance from those energy vampires and to immerse herself in activities that brought her joy, tranquility and especially peace of mind…. And although she had promised him many times to avoid such encounters, she found herself meeting those people again and again and repeating the same patterns of self-loath, internal struggles, negative thoughts and low energy…
Angie had been on a long vacation for almost two months and a half. She had travelled to another country, met new people, and seen new places… She had been constantly discovering and exploring new things almost every day. You can safely say that she had been away from the constant pressure and stress she had always felt in her home country. She stopped watching or reading the news. In fact in her new place she didn’t have a TV. Who needs a TV anyway? She took a few steps away (let’s change that to kilometers or even miles) from things, people and patterns, that used do upset her, used to make her have weird thoughts about herself and about the world… She is glad to be away and she is happy to explore things in her own way.
You can’t imagine how she feels now that she doesn’t have to worry about time, performance, competition, deadlines, pleasing other people, meeting other people’s expectations… or the constant pressure of being like any other person when she knows deep down that every person is unique with a unique path and a set of unique lessons to learn from and to explore.
Thank you for reading.
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