Angie felt weird again. You could say that she was constantly feeling weird lately. How does it feel to “feel weird”, you might ask? Well, have you ever felt lost between several conflicting thoughts? Have you ever felt unable to decide whether certain action, idea or thought, was right or wrong? If you experienced that feeling, than you definitely know what it means to feel weird.
Edgar said something during their last telephone conversation that made Angie perplex. She wasn’t sure anymore whether what he said was a good thing, a bad thing, or whether she was making a big deal out of a simple remark. He asked her what she did after work and she told him that she had a yoga class. (She is into yoga, you might ask? What is yoga? When did she started practicing yoga? I promise to answer all these questions in a soon to be published post). He asked her to stop attending yoga classes and to simply think about him. She found his remark a lit bit weird, so she asked him whether he knew anything about yoga. He said that he had no clue what it was. So she asked him how he can advise her to stop practicing something he has no idea what it is or what it does. He seemed to be unable to answer (at least, this is what she thought). But he “allowed” her to keep practicing yoga. And he added: “Ask me about other things, I am in a good mood today and I might allow you to do many things”. She seemed puzzled. She took a deep breath, tried to convince herself to stay calm, and uttered: “excuse me???” The voices in her head were arguing; one of them was about to start an endless war and to send everything to hell, the second one was trying to see things in perspective and kept repeating that “it doesn’t seem so bad, probably he doesn’t mean it.” The first voice in her head wanted to ask badly:” Who died and made you king? So how come you get to decide on what is good or bad for me? Who put you in charge of my life? Why are you deciding things for me? So how come you are treating me like a little child when I am a mature young woman?” She even tried to project how things would be in a few days or months or even years if she keeps going on with this “relationship” and needless to say that she didn’t like what she saw.
Edgar simply laughed and said: “I am joking, hahaha…”
A couple of days before this incident he advised her to stop practicing meditation and to think about him. (Angie is into meditation, you might ask, what is meditation? Since when did she start meditation? Which technique does she use? Is there one or several techniques? …)
Today, she received the below sms from Edgar:
“I’m tired, just got back home after a long day at work. I got stuck in traffic for about 2 hours. I ate too much last night and I feel pain in my stomach.”
She recalls almost all the messages she received from him in which he complains in almost every single one of them that he is tired and that he hates his work and his life and his surroundings. And during all this time, she kept asking herself: “Is this what life is all about? Meeting with people who are fed up with their lives, their jobs and their surroundings? But I thought that life was about being happy, about searching for fulfillment, for happiness and for joy. I thought that the key to all these things was thankfulness and gratitude. If I hardly know this guy and he constantly complains about every single thing in his life, how things are going to be if I continue with this “relationship”? Maybe I should put an end to it. I am sure I will be better off on my own. “
(By Zeina Gabriel)
PS. How would you have reacted if someone whom you have just met asked you to stop doing all the activities you were doing (including sports) and simply think about him? How would you react if he suddenly became the captain of your own ship?
Thank you for sharing your comments, your opinions and your questions 🙂