It is Saturday morning and although Angie slept late yesterday night, she found herself awake at 6:30 AM. She tried to return to sleep like she sometimes does on weekdays when she simply convinces herself that she has plenty of time to go to work, but this morning, she couldn’t. When she opened her eyes she wondered what day it was. She even wanted to start a review of all the things that need to be done during the day. This last week was one of the longest never ending weeks she had for the last 7 years. Why for the last 7 years? Because she has been an employee at the Beautiful University of Heaven for the last 7 years and although she thought that her duties and her work responsibilities weren’t demanding physically, most – if not all of them – were demanding mentally. Her job was simply to organize things, to place a dot over each i and to make sure that every single task was performed and been taken care of. She sometimes wanted to convince herself that her job wasn’t at all about that, I mean, she could ask for the help of her boss, she can ask for her colleagues to suggest ways to do things, and of course, she can call for assistance and she can report problems. And sometimes, she used to take those long walks out of her windowless office, just to see the sun, the light, the landscape, the trees, the rocks, the cats, the people, the buildings and to hear the birds singing, the cars moving, and to imagine how life is taking shape outside … outside… this office and this building.
So what happened during this week?
Where is Angie nowadays? What is she doing?
I last reported in a previous post that she was about to move to a new position within the Beautiful University of Heaven. But what I omitted to mention was that she had to go through all those tiny little moments before moving to the next job (ummm… some people call those moments “seconds”, others call them “breathes” and others call them “time”). It is easy sometimes to think that time will pass. It will pass, no doubt of that fact, of course it will pass, because everything will pass. No one can disagree or argument or open a never ending discussion on the fact that time will pass, but being in the center of an event is different from watching everything as a spectator. Being the actor is definitely different from just being a passive observer. You see as an actor you are seeing the whole drama from a totally different angle and from a totally different perspective, you know the script of the play- or at least you have practiced several times your own script – and you also know – to certain extent -other people’s scripts and the distribution of roles. For you, this drama you are about to perform is something you have been preparing for a while. You have your fears, your doubts, your thoughts, your hopes, and you sometime wonder if you are up to this whole thing. On the other hand, a spectator who has come to attend your play would think about other things, depending on his(her) knowledge of the play, the actors, drama… In other words, you are unique; your hopes, your fears, your ideas and everything about you are unique. You have all the components of other human beings, but everything in you is different and unique.
I dedicate this post for the one who has always been here in every post, in every idea and in every word. Thank you 🙂 (my dear reader, please don’t over analyze this last sentence. It is just a sentence, a bunch of words grouped together… Let it go… There is no need to understand everything. Sometimes ignorance is bliss)
( By Zeina Gabriel)